My first fill was OUCHHHH

Wednesday I went in for my first post op appointment with the reconstructive surgeon.  I was pretty excited to get this thing going.  I'm not really owning the flat chested look.  The appointment was not that bad.  He is a serious perfectionist, which is definitely a good thing for my sake.  But he is not pleased with the way one of my nipples looks.  This is serious TMI but most of this process is not pretty or for the faint of heart so stop reading now if you can't handle it.  He picked and poked at some not so good looking (blackish/deadish) skin until I glanced down (I can't feel much besides pressure because all of the nerves were cut during surgery) and saw a decent amount of blood.  Uh gross.  Blood + nipple = disgusting, almost vomit inducing, queasiness.  Don't get me wrong, I used to LOVE the show Nip/Tuck but when it's on your own body, it is a whole different ballgame.  He was worried that if the skin was open it could become infected and any infection during this process can result in having to remove the expander and go back to phase one with regards to reconstruction.  I do not want that.  I also wanted to let him know that it wasn't "open" at all until he picked it open but I didn't feel it was my place to step in.  Anyway, he gave me my first small fill, which is a pretty crazy process in itself.  Obviously my description is the scientific one so here goes.  They used a little magnet thing to locate the fill on the expander under the skin.  When the magnet stops they know where to inject the expander with a big fake looking needle.  I only got a small fill but could feel a difference immediately.  I left the appointment, knowing that I had to return Friday, to make sure that the doctor didnt need to cut the dead skin off my nipple and stitch it shut. GAG.  Fastforward to around 6 pm when I could not move even the slightest bit because I felt like I had charlie horses in my chest.  Horrible pain. Apparently it is somewhat common and occurs because the muscle and skin are being stretched.  I took my painkillers that night for the first time in over a week plus some Tylenol PM.  I slept uncomfortably for about five hours before I gave up hope and watched Beyonce's special on HBO.  Luckily Dave knew this pain was not normal and called the doctor, who prescribed Valium to help my muscles relax.  It is kind of a downer though, and put me in a bit of a funk.  I was feeling great (relatively speaking) and doing things for myself before that appointment and suddenly I was back in a lot of pain and needed help for ordinary tasks.  Such a bummer.  

My appointment today, Friday, I ended up not needing a minor nipple cut and paste, which was a HUGE relief.  I also haven't needed the Valium too much today.  I really miss my boys because they have been busy in Pennsylvania with my parents but have valued the rest and calmness around here.  Hopefully we will get together this weekend but if not I can't wait to celebrate Oliver's FIRST birthday this coming week.  I think things are back on the upswing.  My reconstructive surgeon said we can take things as slow as we need to.  I see him again Wednesday so I will probably have updates soon.